People Are Confessing Their Kitchen Crimes, And They Range From Forgivable To Worthy Of Jail Time – BuzzFeed

“Let’s just say I take the ‘five second rule’ very, very liberally.”

1.

“I made fish and chips: smoked salmon with potato chips. I don’t know…I’m not British.”

2.

“I take the ‘five second rule’ very, very liberally.”

3.

“I heat up grocery store roasted chicken with a glass of cheap wine and call it coq au vin.”

4.

“My boss puts applesauce on his pizza, slaps the two slices together and eats it like a sandwich.”

5.

“When breading things in a traditional milk, flour, egg, and breadcrumb mix, it’s recommended to use one hand for the dry ingredients and another for the wet. That makes total sense, but I just use one hand for everything and keep the other hand completely clean. I’d rather have one hand I can use instead of two dirty ones.”

6.

“I often eat Lunchables and just tell myself they’re actually charcuterie.”

7.

“I always overcrowd crowd bacon. It shrinks down eventually anyway.”

8.

“Using dried herbs instead of fresh ones. I fully recognize that fresh rosemary, thyme, or basil tastes way better, but buying fresh herbs is pretty much a guarantee that I’ll use them in one dish and then forget about them until they go bad in the fridge.”

9.

“My husband makes spaghetti, tosses it in sauce, and sets it aside. He then spreads peanut butter on two pieces of toast, ladles a generous amount of the spaghetti onto one piece of the peanut butter toast, and uses the second slice to make a peanut butter and spaghetti sandwich.”

10.

“I always bake with salted butter even though the recipe usually calls for unsalted. Come at me.”

11.

“When I’m feeling lazy I put seasoned ground meat cooked with vegetables and cheese on flatbread and call it Mexican pizza.”

12.

“I eat chunks of cookie dough while I’m making cookies.”

13.

“My version of homemade fish tacos is heating up frozen fish sticks and wrapping them in tortillas.”

14.

“I put melted cheese and tomatoes on bread and call it Margherita pizza.”

15.

“When I’m too lazy to cook, which is often, I just pile whatever is in my fridge into a bowl until nothing else fits and call it dinner.”

16.

“I’m constantly over-crowding the pan. I don’t have time to cook in batches. If I can’t make the ingredients fit in the pan at once, I’m not making that recipe.”

17.

“When my wife was pregnant, she craved ramen noodles prepared with Kraft Mac & Cheese powder. I delivered on that craving.”

18.

“They say not to rinse mushrooms, but I do. I’m not going to sit around with a brush getting off every bit of forest floor They’re getting a quick rinse. What’s the big deal after all? Mushrooms get rained on.

19.

“I put MSG on everything. What can I say? It makes everything taste better.”

20.

“I never rinse my vegetables. I just figure if there’s a little dirt on them it’s sort of like extra nutrients. And if there’s pesticides on them…well, that’s never been a problem for me before.”

21.

“I don’t treat any cheese as exclusive to one culture or cuisine. Hell, I’ll slap Provolone or Monterey jack on almost anything I’m cooking.”

22.

“Forget about smoke point. I use whatever freakin’ oil I have on hand when I’m cooking something in a pan.”

23.

“I soften butter in the microwave. I know it’s wrong, I use the defrost setting and it seems to work just fine. Common, no one has time to wait for butter to soften.”

24.

“I scoop flour directly with a measuring cup into a mixing bowl and never sift it. I haven’t noticed a difference between this method and fluffing/spooning flour into the cup like you’re really supposed to.”

25.

“I aggressively speed-thaw seafood under hot water.”

26.

“When the directions on a frozen meal say to remove it from the microwave and stir it halfway through, I don’t bother with that. I’m already microwaving dinner. I can’t be bothered to put in that effort.”

27.

“For me it’s throwing chopped onions and garlic into the pan simultaneously when the instructions say to sauté the onion first. Neither ever gets overcooked or undercooked.”

28.

“I put cheese on everything, including seafood. Cheesy seafood is the bomb, and I don’t care who says otherwise.”

29.

“I use garlic from a jar (affectionately called jarlic) 90% of the time. IMO, the taste difference is so minimal it’s just not worth the hassle of mincing it by hand.”

30.

“I buy shredded/grated cheese instead of grating it myself. I ain’t got no time for that. 🤷🏻‍♀️”

31.

“When I’m baking, I rarely ever whisk the dry ingredients together before adding them to the wet ingredients. I can’t be bothered. I add the salt, spices and leaveners to the wet ingredients first and then add in the flour.”

32.

“I break spaghetti in half before boiling it. I have a small pot to cook pasta and spaghetti won’t fit otherwise. Don’t judge me 😁.”

33.

“I hardly ever wait for the oven to preheat before putting in whatever it is I’m cooking.”

34.

“I cook raw meatballs in the tomato sauce. I like the flavor it gives the sauce and I don’t want my balls charred, thank you very much.”

35.

“I chop meat on a cutting board board then cut veggies on the same board without cleaning it first. It all gets cooked in the same darn pan anyway.”

36.

“I have never, ever rinsed my rice before cooking it.”

37.

“I use those Instant ramen chicken-flavored seasoning packets to spice up my vegetables and other dishes like home fries. It’s leagues better than just salt and pepper.”

38.

“I use Better than Bouillon in about 75% of my cooking. The lobster version is my secret weapon. It elevates any seafood dish. Any time in cook with shrimp or crawfish I bust out the BTB lobster stock and everyone raves about the meal”

39.

“I always use boxed cake mix. Baking cake from scratch takes forever, but boxed mix is delicious and everyone loves it. Even for banana bread I use yellow cake mix and ripe bananas.”

40.

“I just use a slurry of flour instead of a roux to make béchamel. I say it’s low fat béchamel sauce, but really I’m just lazy.”


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